Reading the newspapers, I want to cry.

For example:

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2010/10/09/us/AP-US-Anti-Gay-Bullying.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&ref=news

To summarize, this article talks about the controversy of anti-bullying policies in schools, in the wake of four teen suicides this month due to bullying around sexual orientation.     The controversy steams from conservative activists objecting that by telling kids it's not ok to bully other kids based on their sexual orientation, it sends a message that being gay is ok.  (These conservative groups would prefer an approach which targets all bullying; the article points to studies that show that such a blanket or "neutral" approach creates an environment where bullying around sexual orientation festers and grows).

This all sounds academic and ideological until one considers that this is in the wake of *four children killing themselves this month because they were bullied for being gay* and that *gay teenagers are at uniquely and dangerously high risks for suicide*.

Then it stops being academic, and starts becoming atrocious.

And an atrocious question occurs- is the startlingly high, and, according to studies, preventable deaths of gay teenagers an acceptable price to conservative groups in the attempt to maintain an atmosphere where being gay is an untolerated thing?

And if so, can these same conservative groups be taken seriously in their "right to life" campaigns in other areas?

To come clean here, I believe, firmly, that all the ways we love are a gift from God; love itself, the ability to connect and the willingness to sacrifice for the other, is the highest holy we attain in this love, and an unimaginable gift.    But I was raised in an environment that was less accepting of people who weren't heterosexual, and I do understand the Biblical arguments against gay relationships; more importantly, I understand the impetutus to accept those arguments.  I understand how scary it is to think that one's personal salvation is dependent on accepting the premises of the Bible, and how difficult and heartbreaking it can be to understand the Bible.

So this post is not an attempt to argue that the only way that Christians (or Muslims or Jews or Atheists or anyone else) can approach the relationships between people of two genders is to be accepting- that's not a possibility for every single person at this moment, just like it's not a possibility that every single person lose their racism, their classism, or any other inate biases.

But this post is calling for putting the sanctity of children's lives above the theological (and theoretical) wrangling over what constitutes appropriate human affection.

Children are dying over this.    And we know we can impact this by protecting them, and by letting them know that they are loved and accepted *as is*.   And by telling all children that they are accountable in their behavior toward each other, regardless of whether they like or approve of each other.

Just as we, as adults, have an equal responsibility to treat each other with civility, respect, and compassion, regardless of whether we agree with each other.

As adults, we have no excuse to do anything but create that environment of respect.   And Christians, who are given such a powerful and forceful guide in the shape of Jesus Christ, have absolutely no excuse in promoting anything other than a culture of acceptance and love.

Regardless of where you are on the political map, and regardless of what you personally believe is appropriate in terms of intimate relationships, as a Christian, your duty is to love the person, and to promote and environment that protects their life. 

Shame, shame on any organization or person who seeks to do otherwise.  

(For the record, I believe that for people or groups arguing against comprehensive protection for gay students in schools, that their resistance comes from ignorance, not from malice.  I think that for people who have not experienced the intense and isolating experience of questioning ones orientation, or knowing that ones orientation is different from and reviled by the norm, combined with some adamant religious teachings on the subject, that there can be a lot of misunderstanding about what it means to be in the shoes of a gay teenager.   I think that more outreach from gay people to religious groups is crucial here; I believe that the more people have an opportunity to understand, the more compassionate and sane they will be in their response).